That's intense
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize