There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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