I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize