My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
