Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
