Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So squirting runs in the family.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
