He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
