This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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