I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize