Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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