One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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