Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fuck appropriateness.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Bring me that man meat
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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