she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
