Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So vagazzling was a success
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
