I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
