even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
