I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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