that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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