I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
