based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
