WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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