Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
