Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
