You smell like stripper and shame
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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