lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
