he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
