I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
