You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
