i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
