Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
