i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
