You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
