As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
