Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
