He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
