Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
