If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize