Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
