My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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