In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
