In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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