ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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