Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
