I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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