why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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