oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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