that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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