After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
