I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
