thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
