wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
ok first of all what the fuck
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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