i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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