Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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