Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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