Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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