i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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