am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
