My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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