did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i dont even know how to be here
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
